Here's an old saying I find useful:
"You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."
You're more successful attracting people to your way of thinking by showing them the benefits of your position, than by scolding them about the liabilities of another.
How would this apply to music and worship?
Consider this from http://jesusfirst.net/2010Sept03.htm :
That Which Jesus First Cannot Accept
An effort to stymie the creativity and versatility of congregations in worship
We do understand that there are appropriate expectations of what will take place in a service of Lutheran worship. As congregations understand and honor those expectations, congregations can and should use the variety of gifts that are available to them without undue criticism or judgment from others.
The phrase "stymie the creativity," is a great example of 'vinegar' -- shooting down another's preferred means of expression. It's very easy to do (I'm certainly guilty) and the result is usually defensive behavior and division. The "undue criticism or judgement" is probably perceived as coming from the old guard, the traditionalists.
What 'honey,' then, would be applicable in the context of music/worship styles?
To be continued...